This big persona is protecting something far more delicate. It is strong on first glance, yet if given the opportunity, one can see past the facade. It seems unbreakable yet the truth of the matter is that it is already broken. It's been mended with experience but is ever so fragile. (Lola, 2007)

So where did that come from? I don't really know. I was sending an email to a friend about an ongoing situation when I realized that I was scared of something. It's something that we're all afraid of. Someone we really care about leaving.

I'm sure that we've all had our share of these kinds of experience. Yet today, it just popped into my mind. I was reminded of a time, long ago, that one person that I cared about and could confess anything too, moved on. It was not a pleasant split but eventually, time (and a very pushy friend of ours) forced us together again. It went well, until one more time, we have lost touch. And this time, I have a feeling that the connection is permanently broken.

One could get over it and learn to trust again. Learn to put the lament to the side and move on. Yet, there is always that feeling if one trusts too much, it will be lost.

And, here I sit writing about this. Where did this come from? Have I just been affected by the study of literature over the last couple of weeks? Of the romantic idea of art? I tend to think that is where the feeling came from. Part of it is probably some friends throwing a curve ball at me by making observations about a decision that I had made and caused me to review it. I won't change things because to believe it all would mean opening old situations up again. They aren't wounds. They are kind of like the story of "Araby" by James Joyce? Kind of like "Aw geez! How could I have believed that?"

Anyway, I'm going to shake the cobwebs of this situation off now. This is not a dire situation. In fact, quite the opposite. I feel good. Writing is good! (and perhaps I could actually make some money at it...)